We were in a quite traditional restaurant
You were so tired
You even fell asleep when you tell me about how much you care about your mom
Suddenly you woke up
You said you just came back from an art exhibition
Jogjakarta, I wonder
You were worried about how messy your look is
You told me you were in hurry to meet someone
I stayed silent as your image slowly fades away
You’re just so warm, as warm as a candlelight
You, you are
the one I miss so much
the one I hoped would understand me… as myself
and despite all the stories I shared,
and all the mistakes I made,
would be next to me on the journey to better understand the world
the one who shares a similar point of view,
on what we should do as people,
as human beings
If only I could ask myself
Are you her or are you not?
Should I fight for you or should I not?
Are these questions guided by an emotion,
or am I a mere flesh and blood, possessed by lust?